I Showered at the Gym

I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t routine maintenance. It’s something many people do every day. It IS routine. But not for me.

I was raised by wasps and we are a modest breed. We don’t really embrace the whole being naked in front of other people thing. I don’t recall ever seeing a naked woman in the locker room at the country club growing up. The locker room even had lots of little stalls to change in—like they were literally just for changing. They weren’t stalls with toilets. They weren’t attached to a shower. They were just tiny little boxes with a door you could lock so that nobody would see you change out of your bathing suit and back into your Lilly Pulitzer.

As a result, I can barely handle changing clothes in front of my sister. You know, the sister I share SO much DNA with that people often think we’re twins.


We just shared a bedroom and bed on a family vacation in December and yet every day after breakfast our conversation went like this:

Me: I’m changing into my bathing suit now, don’t turn around.

Her: Oh no! I might see your boobies. I’ve never seen any boobs before.

Me (more desperately): Don’t turn around!!

In theory, we were raised by the same people. But the wasp didn’t stick to her as hard as it stuck to me.

Basically, I only want to be naked in front of you if you take me on 13 dates:

Screen Shot 2016-04-13 at 9.13.35 PM

Or if you are my doctor. And even then we will do that hilarious little dance where we move the paper gown around so that you’re only looking at one part of my body at a time and never the whole thing at once!

So…yeah. For me, taking a shower at the gym is kind of a big deal. But if I want to blog regularly, I need to think of things I can do to shake up my routine on weekdays and not just weekends. So I signed up for a morning gym class that was late enough that I would not have time to go home and shower before I went to work.

I was both excited and stressed about the endeavor. I packed a bag and carefully planned my outfit for work since I would not be able to stand in my bedroom in a towel and take every item of clothing out of my closet, pile it on my bed, and then wear one of the same five things I always wear. (Yes, I need Marie Kondo in my life…but we’ve already covered how I feel about that.)

In the morning, I woke up early, double checked my bag, put on my cutest workout outfit (I don’t know why this felt necessary since I really wasn’t focused on the workout part of this plan! It was just a means to an end.) and headed to the gym. As soon as I arrived in the locker room, I saw a naked lady drying off and felt a small amount of panic. I briefly considered just waiting for her to leave and then showering alone in the locker room while everyone else was in the workout class. I would still accomplish my goal…sort of. But these classes are not cheap. And I can take a free shower at home after not working out ANY day. That IS my routine.

So I decided to just take the class and worry about the shower part later. Which turned out to be really easy. This is one of those classes where it’s so hard I want to puke. I can’t actually worry or think about anything other than “ONE MORE SQUAT AND MY THIGHS AREN’T GOING TO GET TONED, THEY’RE GOING TO BURST INTO FLAMES.” It’s a really fun gym glass and I love it…

Okay. Class is over. It’s time. I get into the locker room and I see that another girl is going into the shower with her gym clothes on. This is good news. It means I can do that too. I don’t have to try to strip out of my clothes while keeping a towel semi-wrapped around me. It means there will be somewhere to put my gym clothes inside that shower stall. (It has come to my attention that I didn’t do enough recon before the day of the shower.)

The showers were all full so I had to wait. I decided to check my work email and see what I’d be facing for the day. And this is the moment when everything about this stressful shower situation changed. I got a text from my boss that said “Can you go to this meeting for me.” It was a meeting that was starting in a half hour and it was with approximately ALL of the important people in my division. Now…you know from previous posts that I am a rule-follower. When there is a 9:00 meeting, I’m usually at the office by 8:15 at the latest. I don’t do “run in at the last second, grab my notebook off my desk, and sneak into the conference room five minutes late.” Not without having a panic attack about it!

So suddenly I’m racing through my shower, changing as fast as I can, drying my hair, and running out the door to work. And you know what I learned? When you’re stressed out about getting to an important meeting on time, you don’t really care who sees your bare ass in the locker room.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Really like this. Your voice is humorous but relatable 🙂 Thanks for the love on my blog and I look forward to reading more of your stuff!


    1. Thank you so much! I’m excited to read more of your blog too!


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